1. Do not taunt, prevoke, anger, or piss off a pit bull. I happen to be a huge fan of pit bulls. I love their sweet flat cow faces and the way that they seem to smile. But they can look like this (my favorite - the white ones that look a little pink):
or like this:
And can leave you looking like this if you rub them the wrong way:
Note: this is not a picture taken from Vanderbilt Emergency Room, but it's scary how uncanny the resemblance is to the patient I may or may not have seen the other day, who saw fit to get into it with a pittie. Just add an endotracheal tube and subtract a lot more nose.Pittie: 1, Patient: 0.
2. Sledding is great fun. I have very fond memories of going to Great Grandma James' house and sledding down the great long hill onto the frozen lake every year on Christmas Day. Sledding should be done on hills that end in grass, a fence, or, like in Dousman, WI, a frozen lake. Sledding should look like this:
Your sledding route should not, however, end in the interstate. The most busy interstate of Nashville. I repeat: do not go sledding on the interstate. That is a terrific way to lose your face.
Take it from me - if you're stupid, you're bound to lose face in more ways than one.
